Tangible gifts are not what constitutes true giving. True giving is something that can only be gleaned from an expert. Only experts of true giving understand intent. Research says that to be an expert you have to work for ten years or ten thousand hours in the area you desire to know intimately.
My teacher has experience of seven times that. She is more than an expert. A sage perhaps?
I have heard all of my life that I am so incredibly lucky to have my mom as a mother. I knew her impact was expansive, but I found it hard to apply to my life. I wanted sleepovers, a horse, volleyball camp, art school, trips to Italy, etc. I wanted the world, and I never would have asked unless I suspected that she could give it to me.
She gave me more than the world, for I am foolish enough to not have known what to do with the world. She gave me lessons, lessons that I was never specifically tested upon but am frequently reminded of. Here are a few that have stuck with me.
Hope is the vessel to finding love. Without Hope there is nothing to live for. There is no purpose in a new day. With Hope seeing the crescent moon from your dining room window fills your heart with gratitude. With Hope a new day is exciting. With Hope friends like Joy and Love closely follow. Sometimes they tap you on your shoulder and laugh as they run away saying “tag you’re it,” but they keep you moving forward. My mother introduced me to Hope.
Live in the present moment. The Present Moment was not my friend until recently despite the frequent introductions over the years. The Present Moment and I never saw eye-to-eye on much of anything. We were constantly quarreling, and that made me snub my nose at the mention of her. Now the Present Moment surrounds me and caresses my heart when worry sets in. She gently reminds me to look at the horizon and take a minute or two or three to collect myself so that I can return to living.
Happiness is a choice. Happiness was my true nemesis as a child. Everywhere I turned I felt taunted by things that I perceived to be happy. I hated the sadness, but it was familiar. Happiness is still a foreign concept to me most of the time, but I do realize that I am powerful. I get to decide if I want to scream in agony or ecstasy, either is possible in this life. There is agony in suffering, but there is ecstasy in healing. I seek laughter as a means to find Happiness. Laughter is my new hobby.
I did not always understand that all of these lessons that my mother taught me came with painful scars. She was the one that walked through the fire so that I did not have to. She proudly wears her scars so that I can wear mine too. We are not regretful people; we are hopeful. We live in the moment, and whenever and wherever possible we choose happiness.
Happiest of birthdays to my sweet mama!