unpublished love comes to me like a cloudy vision that sounds like distant church bells* that wake me from sleep unpublished love is why i toss and turn because it whispers my name and then vanishes unpublished love lights the night sky with the brightest stars to remind us unpublished love waits for me at…
Category: Life as a Divorcée
as i learn to walk again
at a pivotal age i learned that life ends and begins around me a pet deer a dead father tadpoles in the pool kidnappers behind the swing i begged for lighting rods ant bait and code words to protect me from my own mind i have experience with the dark night and the sun will…
Forgiveness: A Personal How-To
(San Marcos River at Scull Crossing) God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change The courage to change the things I can And the wisdom to know the difference When it was the hardest to forgive others or myself, when it was the hardest to see my hand in every…
Validation Comes From Within
Validation comes from within. That is a recurring theme as I have had many external reminders. I’ve been living in a beautiful paradox. There are no referees in Paradox. There are only signs – contradictory of course. These signs remind you that at every turn you MUST live in the present moment. Dream in the…
And When He Leaves, Encourage Him to Run
Almost exactly two years ago Marco left. I did very little of my usual persuasion to make things right again. It was the Friday that school let out for Spring Break and the cars were packed with all the things to make for a relaxing fishing trip up the Devil’s River via the emergency boat…
BEING PRESENT
The price of being honest is worth the risk every time. That is the lesson I have learned this week. People tend to show their colors when confronted with honesty, a benefit to the truth teller. When honesty is not met with logic I admit to getting a little crazy. Even when the palms of…
ALMOST. BUT NOT TODAY
I almost forgot about my previous thirteen years of learning lessons. I almost started to make the same mistakes. I almost began the litany of self-doubt in my mind. I almost felt something close to heart break for decisions that I have no control over. I almost didn’t make the bed for two days as…
Seeking, Losing, Refinding – True Love
As a recovering Art History major, one of my greatest lessons of the ancient Greeks is found in their temples. Never mind that I found God under Michelangelo’s Sistine Chapel Ceiling or through Bernini’s interpretations of the physical world in the Villa Borghese. My quest for the eternal started in the ancient ruins of Greece….
I FELL IN LOVE IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA
As my plane took off for Southern California a single tear rolled down my cheek. My former life was becoming a memory, and I had to honor who I had once been. Some days I miss her fire and passion as I live in a constant state of restlessness. Recently my fickle ways have returned….
NEW BRUISES
This bruise on my leg, in some ways I hope it never goes away. It reminds me of my brave and very shallow ways this summer. For years I dreamed of being able to confidently be myself. For years I hid behind my weight. I piled crap into my body. And then suddenly I wanted…
MY WAR FOUGHT ON THE HOMEFRONT
The more I talk to people about my former life, the more I realize that they truly don’t get what alcoholism is really like. I get a irritated when my friends jokingly call themselves or others alcoholics. That is like thinking I understand what it is like to go to war because I watched Apocalypse…
FOUR FIRST DATES WITH NO SECONDS
As a freshly divorced person I have tried out the dating scene. I have only been on four dates in the past year. Somehow chronicling my experiences gives me a little perspective. Number 1: The Mommy Interview Because this was my first date in years, I was beyond nervous. I chose to wear all black…
arlisann 