The Kid and the Cowboy

For my birthday one year, my mom gave me all of her writings from 1960 to what was present day. In 1973, my dad had undergone open heart surgery, and they had been told he maybe had 8 years to live. Having trouble processing what was their new reality, she was assigned to write a…

Mama Always Said Choose the Joy

About a week ago, I put this picture on Instagram. The caption is simple: Choose the joy. That is what my mom always said. This picture was taken while I was laughing with a dear friend as we sat across the table from a man dying from a horrible cancer with a terrible prognosis. And…

unpublished love 3

the rose petals have fallen, sunken, dropped italian frescoes crumble into piles of expensive dust  where cars whizz by without a care onto ancient roads of traveled souls, where gold seeps into the aqueducts  where the decadence of Rome poisons the people into believing that gratitude is not a blessing to be revered  when discoveries…

unpublished love

unpublished love comes to me like a cloudy vision that sounds like distant church bells* that wake me from sleep unpublished love is why i toss and turn because it whispers my name and then vanishes unpublished love lights the night sky with the brightest stars to remind us unpublished love waits for me at…

A Plane Crash, a Needlework Sampler, and a Painting

This is a tale of ancestors, angels, and spirit guides. This tale is  about the manifestation of whatever lies on the other side into physical form in my world. Connecting the events is tricky. Let me introduce my mother, Artis Ann and her Papa. Artis Ann was Papa’s only child. This photograph was taken before he…

Forgiveness: A Personal How-To

(San Marcos River at Scull Crossing)   God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change The courage to change the things I can And the wisdom to know the difference When it was the hardest to forgive others or myself, when it was the hardest to see my hand in every…

Lead With Love, Always

At an early age, I was taught to consider other points-of-view and was always encouraged to share ideas or questions. I owe my love, compassion, and empathy to my mother’s life and my father’s death. Through my father’s death I was forced to learn of the cruel, hard pain that stabs without warning, the kind…

ALMOST. BUT NOT TODAY

I almost forgot about my previous thirteen years of learning lessons. I almost started to make the same mistakes. I almost began the litany of self-doubt in my mind. I almost felt something close to heart break for decisions that I have no control over. I almost didn’t make the bed for two days as…

I CHOOSE LOVE

In the vastness of the universe, I believe that two emotions are at play: Love and fear. In my life, I have experienced the magnitude of both, the vastness, the depths, the highs, the isolation, the comradery. There was a time when I knew that love existed, but I did not believe in it. That…

AN OPEN LETTER OF THANK YOU TO AN AMERICAN SOLDIER

Dear Soldier, My reverence for you is akin to messages of salvation received in small town church services. Your bravery is overwhelming. Your sacrifice is appreciated. Words can be empty; however, mine are not. It is rare that when I see you I don’t tell you a simple “thank you.” When you think your country…

THE INVITATION

Unexpected, desired invitations are one of the great joys of my life. They come rarely which makes them even sweeter when they arrive. Over the past two days my emotions have run very high because of such an invitation. A reestablished connection between my niece and me has me in a deep place of quiet…

NEW BRUISES

This bruise on my leg, in some ways I hope it never goes away. It reminds me of my brave and very shallow ways this summer. For years I dreamed of being able to confidently be myself. For years I hid behind my weight. I piled crap into my body. And then suddenly I wanted…